What was the most trouble you ever got into as a kid (what did you do and how did your parents react)?

Five Fun Questions (and a recommendation) with Aisling Marron

Hi! I’m Keris. I’m an author writing about writing and books and music and life, and the last song I listened to was I Won’t Let the Sun Go Down on Me by Nik Kershaw, because I’m once again listening to my Soundtrack of My Life playlist (all killer, no filler) (apart from Tiger Feet by Mud).

Aisling Marron is writer of the hilarious newsletter, Notes from New York, where she provides weekly updates on day-to-day life in Manhattan as a mother of two young kids and relative newcomer to the city.

It’s one of my favourite reads and for months, after every single post I read, I’d think “I’d love to get Aisling to answer the 5 Fun Questions…” before I finally got the bottle to slide into her DMs.

Someone gives you £10k. You HAVE to spend it on travel. Where do you go? What do you do?

I would take my family to Japan. I presume 10k would cover it, maybe I’m wrong¹.

I’ve always wanted to go to Japan. So much so I can’t believe I’ve not yet been. I saw a segment on Japan as a kid on something like Blue Peter. It was presented as this futuristic place that had electronic products 3 to 4 years before we did. It fascinated me!

For a long time, I planned to study Marketing & Japanese in college and I can’t think what that was based on other than the kids’ TV show I’d seen. I didn’t taste sushi till I was 20 so it wasn’t even the cuisine. Recently, I saw an American influencer bring their young kid to Japan and they raved about how child friendly it was. I’m still easily influenced all these years later!

What’s the most delicious thing you’ve ever eaten? And the worst?

I’m going to start with the worst. I’ve lived in America the last three years and for our first Thanksgiving, my brother’s parents-in-law kindly invited us to dinner. (My brother wasn’t there; he lives in Dublin with his American wife). There was one other family friend in attendance, Craig.

The meal was the usual, traditional, Thanksgiving fare and towards the end of dinner, the family said that dessert was going to be cookies baked by Craig. They hyped up these cookies so much. “Wait till you taste these cookies!” “Craig is simply the greatest baker of all time!”

“You should go into it professionally”, they said to Craig, while he blushed happily in the corner.

I was looking forward to these cookies. I like a cookie as much as the next person but the best cookie ever? Baked by Craig? The world’s greatest baker?

Now. My antenna should have been up when Craig introduced the cookies as being gluten free, dairy free, egg free, nut free - I think even sugar free. But it wasn’t clicking with me that these cookies had none of the key ingredients that make cookies delicious. It looked like a cookie and how bad could it be?

It.

Was.

Disgusting.

I took a bite and immediately knew this had been a terrible mistake. I felt so betrayed by what had been promised (best cookies ever) versus how they tasted in my mouth (worst cookies ever). I wondered if I’d be able to swallow the bite I’d taken or if I’d have to somehow discreetly spit it into my napkin. I went with the latter and nobody noticed - they were all too busy still singing Craig’s praises. I spent the next few minutes trying to hide the remainder of the cookie in the floral arrangement in the centre of the table, like I was Mr. Bean at a fine dining restaurant.

I knew they would find it later but at that point, I frankly didn’t care. They’d surely assume it was one of the kids?

Most delicious:

I’m sitting up in bed on a Saturday morning writing this. I turned to my husband and asked him what’s the most delicious thing he ever ate. Without hesitation, he said “the braised octopus fusilli in Marea is one of the best things I’ve ever eaten”.

“Please don’t quote me on that”, he added, when he saw my face light up in a grin. “I’m definitely quoting you on that”, I told him so he tried to downplay it by adding Nigella Lawson’s one-pot chicken and orzo. OMG that dish is so good. We’ve done it so often for dinner guests. A showstopper. It never disappoints.

I personally knew what the most delicious thing I ate was the moment I read the question. I’d love to say something down-to-earth like “My Granny’s Sunday dinners” (her Sunday dinners were amazing actually. I once went up for seconds 7 times. 8 complete servings. Mashed potato with scallions run through it, marrowfat peas, chicken with the skin on and graaaaavy oh my god the gravy) or “a simple tea of sausage, beans and chips” (excellent tea, I will say). But I’m as wanky as the fella in the bed beside me and the best meal I ever had was a dinner at a two starred Michelin restaurant near Dublin called Aimsir, which sadly no longer exists. I still remember the first bite of the meal which was this dehydrated potato, filled with goat’s cheese and topped with black garlic.

If you could learn a new skill from anyone in the world, what would you want to learn and who would you want to teach you?

Hmm I’ve always said I’d get my kids to learn the violin and that I’d get lessons along with them. It’s the kinda shite you talk when you’re years away from even having kids but my kids are coming up to that age now and it’s getting time to put my money where my mouth is.

I liked that it’s an easily portable instrument and that you could learn both classical and traditional (Irish) music. I love the sound of the fiddle and how it can be elegant or haunting or both. I always fancied it as kind of sexy too. Maybe because the Corrs played it.

How I picture myself showing up for my first fiddle lesson with my kids

Who would I want to teach me? I don’t know. Anyone with lots of patience who’d also tell me I’m great.

What would be the title of the story of your life?

I have given this a lot of thought and I cannot think of anything. The hardest part for me on Substack is coming up with the title. I usually re-read the piece I’ve written, pick some funny phrase that grabs me and copy and paste it to the title. As I haven’t written the story of my life, I can’t come up with the catchy title!

What (fun) question should I ask the next person I interview?

What was the most trouble you ever got into as a kid (what did you do and how did your parents react)?

Bonus question, set by the last person I interviewed, Shanta Everington:

If you could be reincarnated as any creature big or small, what would it be and why?

Oh I think a sloth or a turtle. Something that moves very slowly would really match my spirit.

The slowness of my pace is something that has come up regularly in my life. The first inkling I had that I walked slower than most people was an early popular Facebook page called “I secretly want to punch slow walking people in the back of the head”.

“I don’t relate to that at all”, I thought, and then it dawned on me that I was walking around, blissfully unaware that I was being followed by people that wanted to punch me in the back of the head.

My husband is a fast walker and neither of us has adjusted our pace in the slightest, which means that he is three to five feet in front of me at all times. Every hundred yards or so, he stops and waits for me to catch up before setting off one to two paces ahead again.

My kids have asked me why I walk “like a grandma”.

You know, in a former life, as a trainee solicitor in a large law firm, I was once told at a performance review that I walk too slowly. Not only did the partner reviewing my performance suggest that I walk faster but she actually went as far as to name various people in our department who had admirable walking paces that I could try to copy. “But not John!”, she cautioned. “That’s too fast. He looks manic”.

Please recommend something - a book, film, TV show, song or album - and tell me why you love it.

I recently finished ‘Trespasses’ by Louise Kennedy and absolutely loved it.

If I were to describe this book to myself, I would probably dismiss it as being too miserable and cliché. It’s set in Belfast at the height of the Troubles and is told from the point of view of a Catholic who falls in love with (ding ding ding, you’ve guessed it) a Protestant. And not just a Protestant but a married Protestant.

There are alcoholics galore but if you’re thinking that that kind of story doesn’t appeal to you, you have to make an exception for Trespasses because it is *brilliant*. It’s a debut novel by Louise Kennedy, which she wrote in her 50s, and I spent a lot of the book thinking “How was this story and beautiful language inside you for so long?”. It’s recently been adapted for TV and is about to air on Channel 4 (starring Gillian Anderson as the alcoholic mother) and I can’t wait to see it.

I’ve also started watching The Wire this week if anyone is looking for recommendations for 20 year old TV shows, unanimously agreed upon as the greatest TV show of all time. I’m only 7 episodes in but cannot stop thinking about it and planning when I can watch it next. Honestly, it’s making me feel alive like I haven’t felt in years!!

Thanks so much, Aisling!

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1. I’m afraid I think you might be.