New year, new name.

What does the fox say?

When I got married at 24, I thought about keeping my name, but I don’t think I thought about it very much. I think I remember my ex saying that his parents wouldn’t like it if I didn’t and I suspect I figured it was just easier to go along with it.

I’ve been divorced for three years now (and separated for three before that) and I’ve thought a lot about changing my name back… But that didn’t feel quite right either. I’m trying not to be the same person I was before I changed my name and that name was a bit blah anyway. Plus over the last 27 years, I’ve got used to having a unique name. I liked being the only one.

So, I decided I would choose a name for myself.

First name was my origin name.

Stainton was my marriage and family name.

The new one would be just for me.

But what could it be?

For a while I thought I’d go with my middle name, but I didn’t love it and it felt like a bit of a cop-out, the easiest option. Then I tried out lots of names. I liked the idea of a family name and I cannot tell you how many times I thought of my nan’s name and had a moment of “That’s it!” before realising that Keris Cross would not work.

I moved on to random words. The 14yo and I would shout them out when we were watching TV: Keris Horse, Keris Cake, Keris Herriot (yes, we were watching the new All Creatures Great and Small - have you seen it? It’s lovely).

A few weeks later, I was idly doing the same while having a massage - Keris Towel, Keris Stone, Keris Classical Music - when Keris Fox popped into my head, apparently from nowhere, and I thought ooh.

When I got home, I googled foxes - in real life and in folklore - and everything I read felt like it fitted pretty well with who I am and how I’m trying to be.

Plus I’d quite like this next part of my life to be, you know, foxy. If poss. No worries if not.

And then I thought about how I had never seen a fox in the wild until we moved back here, to the town I grew up in. And that when I did see one for the first time, it was on the beach in broad daylight.

I was pretty much sold on the idea already, but then the boys and I went to London for Christmas and as the train pulled into Euston, I spotted a fox walking up the platform. We hopped off the train and headed after it. By the time we reached it, it had crossed to another platform but was standing tall, staring back.

My eldest tried to get his camera with the excellent zoom out of his bag, but didn’t manage it in time. So against my better judgment, I made one with AI.

“I can’t believe that,” I told the kids. “Talk about a sign!”

They both groaned.

“Oh my god, Ma. You can’t decide to call yourself after one of the most common animals and then say it’s a sign when you see one! That’s like if I wanted to change my name to Harry Pigeon.”

I take the point. And I don’t really, necessarily, actually believe in signs.

But.

The first part of my life with my origin name started here, by the beach, where I saw my first fox.

The second part of my life with my married/family name started in London, where I saw my second fox.

So I’m taking it as a sign anyway.

The third part of my life starts with me.

Keris Fox.

Hi.

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